All i want is to be happy, and i thought u were my happiness..i guess i was wrong..

Why do i feel like a jinx?
Just when i wanna be relieved off assignments and projects,
my com crashed! How terribly i cried to realise that i've lost all my work and the effort i put in to finish it perfectly in a week,has gone to waste...
I felt like killing myself at that moment of time..
Just when i thought of compiling everything into my thumbdrive, just to know that its all gone.
Perfectly gone!
Starting a project again from scratch just hurts me deep inside, cause i spend sleepless nights to finish it.
And worst styl, its all gone in e weekend, no possibility of me finishing EVERYTHING in time..haishh.
Reli Jinxed..:(((

Yesterdayy, was kinda crap. Altho the students were adorable, and i was trying to have fun, i just couldn't put everything behind me. I must have looked terrible like how i felt inside. Stupidly, i cried when my lecturers were around after telling them what happened. However,they are the sweetest lecturers and they gave me one more week to finish it. Raya's gonna be a sad thing for me. Many things are happening and my life's been a hectic rollercoaster.

And now, just when i wanna be happy and learned to love again,
I am feeling that its all gonna end. soon enough.
It hurts like shit and its gonna take decades for it to heal.
I'm tired of tearing up, swelliing inside out.
Puffy eyes that just don't seems to vanish.
Don't blame me if im not your 'beautiful' girl animore due to continuous crying and sleepless nights.
Don't blame me if im not 'lilmisssunshine' no more, cause dayys of my lifes gonna turn dark soon.
Don't blame me if i'm not the 'happy-go-lucky' girl you knew, who used to hide her sorrows,
cause now, since you left, just sorrows when i think of you accompanies me.
Many wants me to cheer up, and i feel shit to put up a front when deep inside im such a sobbing kid that just can't stop feeling sorry for herself.
Sometimes when i laugh so much, a searing pain just gets me, am i such a hypocrite?
I deserve to be happy and smiling, and for that to happen i have to let you go, cause its hurting so badly.
Was it so easy to just put all that feelings aside?
I just don't know how i'm going to face the truth that its all ending, its really shattering me down.
To know that i loved him so much to lose him cause things aren't the same,gonna hurt me so much....